tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34671502331583922352024-02-06T20:46:48.246-08:00Japanese mom & Filipino dadAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02510306813050598467noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467150233158392235.post-90016355977479068992014-12-24T07:25:00.000-08:002014-12-24T07:25:04.325-08:00My 10 year-old daughter feeling teased by other children<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't think this is bullying... it's more like "getting picked on" without physical violence.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And my 10 years old daughter doesn't know how to handle the situation. Being the youngest, but more like an only child because of her age gap to elder siblings, she is a bit emotional when it comes to teasing. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Recently, according to her, she cried because someone said she and one boy in same group like each other. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think she didn't mind it at first, but the person ( or group of them, I don't know) didn't stop saying it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think regardless of age, sometimes people like to say things which others don't like to hear, and just repeat it many times so to see the reaction, and it may be fun for those who like to enjoy seeing the reaction. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It is a sign, to me, the person is seeking attention, and although it's not a healthy kind, nor healthy way, it might be healthy for the person who's doing it, because he /she needs to feel loved. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Getting attention is pretty similar feeling as being loved.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Suppose parents give full attention to children, and make sure we give unconditional love. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But sometimes parents are working, or busy with something else, or they don't know how to express their love to children, so some children are lonely. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It is easy for us to just scold the child and tell him / her not to do it, but it won't solve the real problem, specially the one who's making fun of others. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Though allowing them to continue doing it won't solve the situation, too.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Almost the same psychology exists in domestic violence or power harassment, too. They are taking advantage of weaker one who don't really fight back, or don't know how to fight back. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Fighting back I mean is not really the real fight, but how to deal with it without physical violence or having argument. Because that is the thing they want if they are seeking for attention.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is one of websites I found "how to deal" for your children. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://msppinterface.org/guides/teasing" target="_blank">SPECIFIC STRATEGIES TO TEACH YOUR CHILD TO DEAL WITH TEASING (by the Massachusetts Child Psychiatry Access Project )</a></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But for now, I just simply try to listen to her more than giving specific advises. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">To me, if a child can express his / her feelings to others, then he /she will feel much better and look at it more objectively. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And since it's not at her school, and easy for me to be around, I'll try to stay closer, so I can monitor her better. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I once was a bullied child, back in Japan. In my case, it involved physical and verbal violence and destruction of my possessions. In my daughter's case, it's not this kind of bullying. But it has to stop as well. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">One thing I know is that, you can't change the children who do this. Parents might listen, but it's unlikely that they come up with good solution.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And I know I shouldn't tell my daughter to be stronger because it is her limitation already. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It is hard for her to rely on other adults involve in the place, because I don't think they can see what's really happening. If it happens in front of adults, they know they will be stopped and warned. So they are good at doing it not seen. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Though at school, my daughter likes to tell teachers when she sees teasing. She also boldly tell the bully to stop saying thing like this or that. But she is shy to tell when it comes to her.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Anyway one important stance that parents could take is ( to me) is that we need to give assurance to our children that if it hurts him / her so much, it is okay to be absent from school, change school, or leave certain group. There is alway a way not to be teased, which is to stay away from those people. It might be the last option, but giving assurance would give certain peace to children. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But for now, I don't think it's in that level yet. They seem to be playing together happily when I see them. They might even forget about it soon after this new year vacation. </span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02510306813050598467noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467150233158392235.post-86692279188530095062014-01-12T21:52:00.000-08:002014-08-20T14:43:18.540-07:00My run away house hold helper<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">She came to work with us on November 25, 2013,</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">and told my driver on her first day that she plans to run away once she is allowed to have a day off.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">The people belong to lower class have a kind of strong bonding or unity here in the Philippines, and they have a tendency to keep secrets among each other, so my driver didn't tell me.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It turned out as if my driver protected her, but actually he didn't mean to protect her. There is a culture here that it is not a good act to report someone to authority or boss, because a person will be facing some kind of consequence, or punishment. It's considered betrayal and Filipino community has a way to make them outcast who reported, or attack them verbally.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Not all are like that, but there is a culture like that among some people here in the Philippines.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">That is one of the reasons many companies are experiencing stealing from employees and yet hard to catch them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Anyway, my maid who run away lives in Las Piñas, Metro Manila, and she has 5 children from high school to 9 years old. Her husband is a family driver, but I think currently he is out of job, because he had an affair with someone's wife, and the girl is an employee in the office of his boss who has a beauty salon. The husband of the girl (so SHE is married!) threatened him, so he couldn't go to work or something.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">So it is my guess that she thought about working just for December when kids have no school.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Although she said she wants to work to save college tuition fee for her eldest who's soon graduation high school. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">She didn't have a day-off since she came to my house on November 25, told me she wants to go day-off on December 31, but because my family traveled from Dec 29- Jan 1, she took advantage and left on Dec 30. Yet, she asked me to pay for her day-off she didn't take. (They are allowed 2 times a month, and I normally pay for a day-off if they don't avail it).</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Her starting salary was 5000 pesos (around $116 USD) per month, plus food allowance of 500 pesos per week (free seasoning and basic vegetables, etc). </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">For the month of December, she received around 8000 pesos (around $186), it is because of Christmas bonus and tips we gave when we had parties at home. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I don't think her salary is considered low in Metro Manila for maids, I give Social Security, Philippine Health, and Pag-ibig, too.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">When we came back from vacation trip, and found out that she is unlikely to come back, and I tried to call her mobile phone, but she changed her sim card, thus we can't contact her anymore, I felt annoyed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">If she really told me honestly, and begged me, I could have allowed her to leave.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">In fact, during her stay with us, I kept telling her that I allowed all the maids who wish to leave, and never stopped them, and she agreed that proper resignation is important.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">And if she told me earlier, I could have a chance to find her replacement, too.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">But she didn't care.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I wasn't to obliged to give Christmas bonus under the law, but it's Christmas, you know, and I wanted her to have little additional for her family. I also gave her Christmas ham (in the Philippines, they call it Hamon de bola), and she all took them, though I was wondering why she was no smiling when she received them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">And all of these were just taken it for granted.</span></div>
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She just didn't care for us, and she didn't care for the other maids who will have hard time without her.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">She also stole her contract of employment.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">We are supposed to inform each other 15 days notice in case of termination, but she didn't want to follow from the start. (Her 6 months contract, too) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">And in the Philippines, a lot of people don't follow laws, but they don't get caught, or they don't face the consequences. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I'm not generalizing Filipinos, but many people belong to lower class are used to do what they want to do, and they call it "freedom of choice". </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">(Again, not all the Filipinos are like her. There are more sincere, honest people than those who are not, I think. But it's true that there are some like her.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It's a freedom without responsibility, but those people are not taught that one has to act with responsibility.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Since she got a lot of cash because it was December and we had many home parties, she had enough cash for a month or two.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">And by the time she run out of cash, probably she must be hoping for her husband to get a good job.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">But my concern here is the honesty.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">She got away from me by lying.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">And that's the attitude she has to everything. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I’m not just talking about a lie.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I’m talking about her principle in life or philosophy she has, or how she holds herself to society. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Her kids learn her attitude, too, by looking at her.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Even she doesn't tell her kids that she lied to me, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">every word, every action shows how she thinks. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">A lot of Filipino parents want their kids to get good jobs, but if they are not sincere to others, if parents are not honest, if their attitude is selfish, then kids learn that way, too.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">In Japan, we say "Spit toward heaven (sky), it falls on to your face".</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">For your information:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My maid who run away is </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Maunag de Espiritu, Elma y Lamila</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here is the copy of her NBI clearance.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">(you can click to enlarge the image)</span></div>
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</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02510306813050598467noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467150233158392235.post-37595167576403424452013-12-26T03:35:00.001-08:002013-12-26T04:02:43.667-08:00My husband is the most important person in my family<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">May be I didn't think this way from the start, </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">you know, during 23 years of my marriage life, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">there were ups and downs.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Though we were so much in love with each other when we got married... and love was everything we had that time.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My husband didn't have a job when we got married.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We had no place to stay, but his friend offered one of the rooms at his house, because his parents were in America.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He was taking master's degree in Filipino, and may be he wanted to be a teacher, or translator like his dad.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Though when we decided to get married, he wanted to be a farmer!</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And I agreed.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We had a baby girl a year after our wedding,</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and when the baby turned one year old, he suddenly wanted to go to law school.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So he entered law school, and became a working student, and I started to look for part time job.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I started to teach small Japanese kids here in Metro Manila.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I used to be a kindergarten teacher back in Japan, so that was something I was good at.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Later on, I franchised Kumon learning method, and started my Kumon Center in Ayala Alabang village.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My students were mostly Japanese.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">That was around the time I happened to meet this Japanese Kumon teacher when my 2 kids were still small, and my youngest wasn't born yet.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">She taught me so many secrets about education and teaching skills.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And one day she told me:</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"You should love your husband the most, 2nd your husband, there is no 3rd, and 4th, and 5th will be your children."</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">She didn't mean to say we neglect taking care of children.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think what she meant was the relationship between husband and wife is the most important in family.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In Japan, we have a saying </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">" Children grow up looking at the back of parents."</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It means children look at our attitude and how we relate to others including spouse and children, and they learn from that.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Not only what parents say to children.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Kids are very smart, and they observe deeply.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If they see husband and wife ( dad and mom) trusting each other, then they learn what it means to trust.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And there are times mom and dad have some problems each other.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And kids are just there, so often it's a temptation for parents to share the problems to kids.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Haay, you dad /mom never helped at something."</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Don't be like your dad /your mom who never learned to bla bla bla..."</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But your kids are not counselors.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">They are not a sand bag that you can pour your anger.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If you got some problems, solve it among each other.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Never share those problems to your kids.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Never put down your partner in front of kids, too.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We say in Japanese that </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"If someone gives negative comments about you, true or not, you lose credit and trust."</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It's same thing in family.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">If mom or dad talks about each other's negative sides, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">and kids happened to listen to it,</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">children think the dad or mom is not trustworthy.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If you have an opinion to tell, talk about it with your spouse when kids are sleeping or when they are not there.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Let's see...</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There are many things so good about my husband, and one of them is his gratitude to me.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He doesn't forget to tell me "thank you" all the time.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And he never complained about food I cook, too.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If he doesn't like it, he may not eat so much, but he won't say a word.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So you see, if I write something like this,</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">you know how wonderful my husband is!</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And it's same for children.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Talk to your children how wonderful your husband / wife is.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Children love their parents.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In fact, they think mom and dad are the best male / female person in the world.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Don't disappoint them.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Everyone has weaknesses. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">One can't change that easily.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But I think it's better not to look at the weaknesses of a person.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Not to expect your partner to change is my advise.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">(unless domestic violence or some psychological disorders are involved)</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Instead, mom and dad can help each other and do the things other can't do.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And that's called Love.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">There was a time, my husband was commuting (taking bus and jeep ) going to work to Muntinlupa from our house in Diliman, Quezon City </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">(around 40km)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">, so he left 5:30 in the morning, and in the afternoon he went to law school until 10 p.m. My son was one year old that time, and every night, I used to pick him up at law school at Makati, because he still had to study before he went to work next day.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Everything is a choice we make.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There's no right or wrong, and you can't blame anyone if your life is tougher than others.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And I started my life in the Philippines with my husband, and it was the best thing happened in my life. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He didn't be a farmer, though...</span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02510306813050598467noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467150233158392235.post-41195645581660688652013-12-24T10:39:00.000-08:002013-12-24T10:41:33.148-08:00When Filipino kids are grounded by parents<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I recently read a web article saying that in Finland they don't have tests or homework but they maintain the academic level number 1 in the world.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Here's the link of the article, though it's in Japanese.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
試験は一切ナシ!学力世界一位「フィンランド」の教育方針のスゴさ<br />
<a href="http://news.ameba.jp/20131026-140/" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">http://news.ameba.jp/20131026-140/</span></a><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">According to the article:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">- Kids in Finland don't go to school until they are 7 years old.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">- There's almost no homework or test until they get to middle school.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">- No academic evaluation until they are 13 years old.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">- Mandatory exam required by government is once when they are 16 years old.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">- All kids regardless of academic level take same classes together </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">- Rate of going to university is 66% which is the highest in EU nations</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">- Science laboratory is done with maximum of 16 kids so that everyone can join.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">- Break time of kids in elementary school is 75 min ( 27min in USA).</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">- All the educational expenses are paid by government</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">- All the teachers are required to have master's degree</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Anyway, I'm not going to talk about education in Finland today.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I want to talk about "Grounded kids"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">because I used to wonder why and what is "grounded" everytime I hear about it from my kids or from Filipino parents.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In Japan, most of the kids are just playing until they go to school when they are 6 years old.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But I found out that it's not the case here in the Philippines.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My eldest entered the nursery, kids study!</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Well, studying is okay, I guess.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Kids are capable to learn anything when they are young.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">They can learn academic, or other things such as motor skills during play.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Discover nature and learn to observe, etc.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But I think generally speaking, Filipino schools or Filipino parents focus too much on academic and grades they get from school.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And I happened to hear from my kids' friends often that they are grounded sometimes, thus they can't play with my kids for how many days, or how many weeks. Sometimes they are not allowed to go out to watch movie, or play computer games.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And here I am.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I never really focused on grades or results of tests my kids brought home.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I looked at test papers, and find the mistakes, and since it's in English (except Filipino subject), I tried to find the correct answers, or try to find out why my kids made a mistake.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Learning something is always fun to me and to my kids.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Finding the reason of mistakes was fun, too.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And they learn from their mistakes quickly.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I wasn't a smart mom, and that was a good thing, too.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I forget so easily, such as things to submit to school, the payment due, etc.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So my kids learned to remind me, instead of I reminding them.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I know most of Filipino parents like to tell their kids to study well, so get good grades, and sometimes they offer rewards, or condition or punishment.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But then I want to ask those parents.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What do you think they learn if you tell them to give either rewards or punishment?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">To me, the kids learn to work to please their parents, because they want to be acknowledged?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">All the kids want to get the attention of parents and it hurts if they know parents won't like them if they don't get good grades. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Parents may not mean that way, but kids take it that way.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Or kids learn to work because they get rewards.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So for whom or for what are they really studying? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What is the goal of their study? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Though kids often like to achieve that goal so that rewards can be given.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">That strategy works often.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">They know they want some material such as expensive games, or trip to abroad, etc.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And here's my experience I want to share.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I once was teaching and there was a time I had some rewards to their achievement.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Some small item such as pencils or erasers.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">While the rewards were attractive, kids did achieve so fast, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">but when it wasn't attractive anymore, they lost interests, and became lazy. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">They started to demand me nicer prizes, too.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So what I made kids learn was to have a mind to work if only something was given.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">They weren't studying because the learning was fun.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">They were simply aiming for the rewards.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And I felt so guilty.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Because kids were capable, as it was proven through the rewards system,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> but I failed to teach the fun part of studying.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Just because I connected to rewards.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And lastly, what if you connect it to punishment, such as grounding kids, not make them play with friends, or not make them go out if they get low.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Do they learn to find the love for studying that way?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I don't think so.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In fact, they might start lying to parents if they get low in tests just so that they can avoid the punishment.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">They learn to hide things, and if they can get away with it, they try to get away.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And that habit will continue even when they grow up.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">They also learn to work because they fear the punishment.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So it's same as the rewards.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">They don't work that hard if they are not punished, or threatened.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Because in the first place, the purpose of the study was mislead to kids.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It is the message those parents gave them indirectly.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"Study because I scare you."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"Study because I give you rewards"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Later on the messages will be like </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"You are good because you got good grades"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"You are not good enough because you didn't get good grades."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But here's my question.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">If kids get good grades, can you really say kids learned well?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What I mean is that how perfectly you could evaluate a person (or a child) how much he/she learned from the grades given by some teachers?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">For me learning is important, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">but getting good grades is not important because it's only part of what they learn.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Learning is something like you read, understand, digested, and it becomes part of you.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sometimes my youngest and I study our weakest subject which is social study in Filipino.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And even she memorized everything, she gets low in tests because often she can't understand the instructions in Filipino, or exam came out in different way. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sometimes there is a question which was not taught.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Like last time, teacher showed the Ateneo de Manila school logo, and wanted her students to name it.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Very few got it because it was not in hand out given by the teacher.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It's just that my daughter often play in Ateneo, so she knew it.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So if you look their test paper closely, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">you can see the weakness of teachers, too.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My daughter can answer those social study questions if I ask her in English.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It's just that it is given in Filipino, and I don't speak Filipino well, so she can't understand the questions often.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But to me, if she can answer in English, I think she learned it well.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And there's even more.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Kids who are scared or threaten by parents think they are not good enough.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Or they think they can't really show their true self, or true feelings to their parents.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">They value themselves low, because the ruler parents use is valuing by grades.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We know that what matters in life is not only grades.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Parents may not mean that way. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But that's what kids think.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And they also develop a habit of working on it because they are threatened.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Or that's how I feel often.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Because once I talked to high school teachers, and they said it is important to fail some of students in the first exam, so they get serious and study better.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I wonder why.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Is it same as my house hold helpers (stay-in maids) who don't work if I don't scold them?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I often ask them "So which do you like? You want to be scolded or you do work without being scolded?"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">They say they don't want to be scolded, but they can't work without being scolded.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As if they are waiting to be punished.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I think they got so used to be threatened that they became very passive, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">and lost interest or lost self esteem, lost the ability to think on their own, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">and they are simply want to follow what parents say, so that they are safe.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And those kids tend to value others by grades, too.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Growing up is about making mistakes.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">There're many things parents want to tell them, because we know how to avoid trouble.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But I think we need to trust them, and allow them to make mistakes.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Though I admit that I am a mom who really look at their studies.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Mainly because I feel fun to learn what they are learning.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And I normally research some more and share what I find out with my kids.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I don't care if it's not related to their current studies.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I just want to know, and I feel excited if I find something new.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My kids enjoy what I find out most of the time, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">or occasionally they are just amused to see how excited I am.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But what ever I do, I don't say anything to their grades, or results of their test papers.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I look at the mistakes and that's all.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I look at mistakes and ask them why it was wrong.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">If they don't know why, then I tell them.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But first I ask them to think about it.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sometimes they didn't see part of instructions, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">sometimes they read one number wrong because the way of writing number zero looks like 6.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Or they didn't memorize everything and it came out in exam.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I just want them to realize why it got wrong, and that's it.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So what I want to happen is that kids can learn by themselves,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">in the future, even I don't guide them anymore, they can find the reason why something went wrong, think about it, and learn to correct it.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">That's called responsibility.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And each child is gifted with something.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Not all kids are gifted in academic.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And to me, it is not true that if they get good grades, they can get high paying job, and be happy.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sometimes those who get low grades are also successful in life.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sometimes people get a job they like, and even they don't get paid well, they are happy.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">To me, it's not just by chance that they are successful or happy.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Tomorrow is about today.</span><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02510306813050598467noreply@blogger.com6